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	<title>Teneo !!!</title>
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	<link>http://teneo.wordpress.com</link>
	<description>Aaron's blog on Networking, and Enterprise Technology</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Mon, 23 Nov 2009 04:23:40 +0000</lastBuildDate>
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		<title>Teneo !!!</title>
		<link>http://teneo.wordpress.com</link>
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			<item>
		<title>New Datacenter</title>
		<link>http://teneo.wordpress.com/2009/11/22/new-datacenter/</link>
		<comments>http://teneo.wordpress.com/2009/11/22/new-datacenter/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 23 Nov 2009 04:23:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Aaron Paxson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Business Technology]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://teneo.wordpress.com/?p=183</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I am totally missing my routine blogging, and I need to get re-organized.  Work is overwhelming me (when does it not for most people?).
We are moving one of our datacenter&#8217;s located in Cleveland Ohio.  This datacenter currently hosts 50+ servers, plus a PBX and Call Center, along with an AS400 ERP system.
So, I&#8217;ve been struggling [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=teneo.wordpress.com&blog=1886641&post=183&subd=teneo&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p>I am totally missing my routine blogging, and I need to get re-organized.  Work is overwhelming me (when does it not for most people?).</p>
<p>We are moving one of our datacenter&#8217;s located in Cleveland Ohio.  This datacenter currently hosts 50+ servers, plus a PBX and Call Center, along with an AS400 ERP system.</p>
<p>So, I&#8217;ve been struggling the last 40 days trying to find a datacenter, moving circuits, and finding a logistics company capable of moving such equipment.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.dolphini.com">Dolphini Networks</a> was the co-location that I decided on.  <a href="http://www.peak10.com">Peak10</a> was what I was going with, but they just couldn&#8217;t get my AT&amp;T quote for my fiber line.  After 4 weeks of emails, I just felt I either wasn&#8217;t important enough, or they just stopped trying.  Too bad.  Their loss, Dolphini&#8217;s gain.  Plus, they are about 20 minutes closer to me and cheaper.</p>
<p>My only concern is that they are not a 24/7 datacenter, which I&#8217;m not used to.  But, hopefully, I&#8217;ll get around it, or used to it.  I&#8217;m just used to calling our current datacenter at 2am to ask for a modem power cycle, or re-seat a hard drive in a server.</p>
<p>So far, I&#8217;ve got our Qwest LD circuits ordered, Verizon WAN circuits ordered, and waiting on local PRI service and our 100Mb fiber line.</p>
<p>There is good news.  The company that had our current offices before us, Ingram Books, already had fiber put in.  So, hopefully it&#8217;s just a question of provisioning it, and the install time is cut dramatically.</p>
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			<media:title type="html">apaxson</media:title>
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		<item>
		<title>Mac + Final Cut Studio</title>
		<link>http://teneo.wordpress.com/2009/09/24/mac-final-cut-studio/</link>
		<comments>http://teneo.wordpress.com/2009/09/24/mac-final-cut-studio/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 24 Sep 2009 11:40:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Aaron Paxson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Mac]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://teneo.wordpress.com/?p=181</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[My two hobbies in one video&#8230;.. Final Cut Studio and Mac.  Check out this video showing how &#8220;Leverage&#8221; is made entirely using Mac&#8217;s and Final Cut Studio.
http://www.apple.com/finalcutstudio/#leverage
       <img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=teneo.wordpress.com&blog=1886641&post=181&subd=teneo&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p>My two hobbies in one video&#8230;.. Final Cut Studio and Mac.  Check out this video showing how &#8220;Leverage&#8221; is made entirely using Mac&#8217;s and Final Cut Studio.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.apple.com/finalcutstudio/#leverage">http://www.apple.com/finalcutstudio/#leverage</a></p>
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			<media:title type="html">apaxson</media:title>
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		<title>Finding your inner skill-set</title>
		<link>http://teneo.wordpress.com/2009/08/22/finding-your-inner-skill-set/</link>
		<comments>http://teneo.wordpress.com/2009/08/22/finding-your-inner-skill-set/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 22 Aug 2009 19:40:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Aaron Paxson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[General Blab]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Network Management]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://teneo.wordpress.com/?p=177</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;m sure there are times where we all go through a period, where we just don&#8217;t know where are strengths are in our careers.  Many, are like me, just get your hands into everything.
While this is great, because it gives you a bigger picture, it left me feeling frustrated, as there wasn&#8217;t a single thing [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=teneo.wordpress.com&blog=1886641&post=177&subd=teneo&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p>I&#8217;m sure there are times where we all go through a period, where we just don&#8217;t know where are strengths are in our careers.  Many, are like me, just get your hands into everything.</p>
<p>While this is great, because it gives you a bigger picture, it left me feeling frustrated, as there wasn&#8217;t a single thing I was really interested in.  A topic that trumped the rest.  Something I can pride myself on as to knowing more than others.</p>
<p>It has taken me 10 years in the IT industry to finally figure out what that is.  &#8220;Network Operations Monitoring and Management&#8221;.</p>
<p>This fits well with me, because it still allows me to have some hands-on skills on all network operations, such as Domino/Exchange servers, network equipment, VoIP, web security, firewalls, programming, etc.  Because a management system needs to understand ALL of these systems, and correlate numerous metrics to identify a particular problem.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m actually kind-of excited, because I have finally answered the question I&#8217;ve been asking myself for so long.</p>
<p>May you also answer the lingering questions, that you still have unanswered!</p>
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		<title>Changing the break character on Cisco</title>
		<link>http://teneo.wordpress.com/2009/08/21/changing-the-break-character-on-cisco/</link>
		<comments>http://teneo.wordpress.com/2009/08/21/changing-the-break-character-on-cisco/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 21 Aug 2009 11:54:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Aaron Paxson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Cisco]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[break]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[character]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[terminal]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://teneo.wordpress.com/?p=174</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Greg Ferro, Ethereal Mind, posted a great post on how to change the break character on Cisco&#8217;s.  This can be handy for folks like me, who always forget, just because it&#8217;s not a usual or routine thing for me.
He also explains how using Terminal Access Servers can get annoying, because the Terminal Access server is [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=teneo.wordpress.com&blog=1886641&post=174&subd=teneo&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p>Greg Ferro, <a href="http://etherealmind.com">Ethereal Mind</a>, posted a great post on <a href="http://etherealmind.com/2009/08/21/changing-break-sequence-cisco-ios-useful-different">how to change the break character on Cisco&#8217;s</a>.  This can be handy for folks like me, who always forget, just because it&#8217;s not a usual or routine thing for me.</p>
<p>He also explains how using Terminal Access Servers can get annoying, because the Terminal Access server is receiving the break, and not your current connection.  Similar to doing a CTRL+ALT+DEL in a Windows Terminal Session.</p>
<p>Nice post, Greg.  I can use something like this in my arsenal.</p>
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		<title>Styx being reborn &#8211; SQL Netflow Collector</title>
		<link>http://teneo.wordpress.com/2009/08/20/styx-being-reborn-sql-netflow-collector/</link>
		<comments>http://teneo.wordpress.com/2009/08/20/styx-being-reborn-sql-netflow-collector/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 21 Aug 2009 03:34:42 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Aaron Paxson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Network Management]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[analyzer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Cisco]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[collector]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gpl]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[netflow]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[styx]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://teneo.wordpress.com/?p=171</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Okay, after my last post about whether I should get back to rebuilding my netflow collector, Styx&#8230;.. I finally made a decision.  I&#8217;m going to push on.
The main reason is because there really isn&#8217;t anything out there to give you the data you want.  Yes, there are some really great products out there, but you [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=teneo.wordpress.com&blog=1886641&post=171&subd=teneo&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p>Okay, after my last post about whether I should get back to rebuilding my netflow collector, Styx&#8230;.. I finally made a decision.  I&#8217;m going to push on.</p>
<p>The main reason is because there really isn&#8217;t anything out there to give you the data you want.  Yes, there are some really great products out there, but you are limited to the graphs and data exports that the programming company *want* you to see.</p>
<p>Styx is different.  Yes, it will have the same kind of graphs, but puts you back in the driver&#8217;s seat.  The way I see it&#8230;.. if you are saavy enough to know that you need netflow data, then you are competent enough to know what data you want to see.</p>
<p>Styx has an OLAP engine that will allow you to drill-down to see the data you need.  You can do all the &#8220;data-mining&#8221; you want.  Of course, I&#8217;m still building it, so it&#8217;s more like a fantasy than real life&#8230; but it IS in progress:  <a href="http://styx.javaforge.com">http://styx.javaforge.com</a></p>
<p>It&#8217;s built on SQL, so you can use your favorite reporting package.  Of course, on high-traffic networks, you could be analyzing millions of records, so to be efficient is a major challenge.  But, one that I&#8217;m willing to overcome.</p>
<p>Thanks to everyone for your comments on my previous post, as well as, the many emails I received.  I appreciate your feedback, advice, and confidence in me.</p>
<p>Once this package is available to use, I would love to have your help in letting me know what&#8217;s most important to you.</p>
<p>Until then, I will continue coding&#8230;&#8230;. java-style!!</p>
<p>Cheers!</p>
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		<title>Book Reviews</title>
		<link>http://teneo.wordpress.com/2009/08/20/book-reviews/</link>
		<comments>http://teneo.wordpress.com/2009/08/20/book-reviews/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 20 Aug 2009 20:42:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Aaron Paxson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[General Blab]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://teneo.wordpress.com/?p=168</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I have had many Cisco Press books delivered to my door in the last few months for review.  Sorry I haven&#8217;t done any reviews lately.  Been a BEAR at work!
I will though.  Stay tuned.
The last one, &#8220;Building a Green Datacenter&#8221; looked very promising.  But, my favorite so far, is still &#8220;Network Management and Accounting Strategies&#8220;
 [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=teneo.wordpress.com&blog=1886641&post=168&subd=teneo&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p>I have had many Cisco Press books delivered to my door in the last few months for review.  Sorry I haven&#8217;t done any reviews lately.  Been a BEAR at work!</p>
<p>I will though.  Stay tuned.</p>
<p>The last one, &#8220;<a href="http://www.ciscopress.com/bookstore/product.asp?isbn=1587058138">Building a Green Datacenter</a>&#8221; looked very promising.  But, my favorite so far, is still &#8220;<a href="http://www.ciscopress.com/bookstore/product.asp?isbn=1587051982">Network Management and Accounting Strategies</a>&#8220;</p>
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		<title>A second look at Lotus Notes</title>
		<link>http://teneo.wordpress.com/2009/08/20/a-second-look-at-lotus-notes/</link>
		<comments>http://teneo.wordpress.com/2009/08/20/a-second-look-at-lotus-notes/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 20 Aug 2009 12:19:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Aaron Paxson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Messaging-Collaboration]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://teneo.wordpress.com/?p=154</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[There is still alot of bad blood about Lotus Notes.  Some people have absolute frightful feelings about it.  Usually stemming from the Lotus 4.5/5.0 days.  Don&#8217;t get me wrong, I completely sympathize with those users.  Those versions of Lotus just didn&#8217;t cut it.  The learning curve was high, and the interface was counter-intuitive.
I was a [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=teneo.wordpress.com&blog=1886641&post=154&subd=teneo&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p>There is still alot of bad blood about Lotus Notes.  Some people have absolute frightful feelings about it.  Usually stemming from the Lotus 4.5/5.0 days.  Don&#8217;t get me wrong, I completely sympathize with those users.  Those versions of Lotus just didn&#8217;t cut it.  The learning curve was high, and the interface was counter-intuitive.</p>
<p>I was a part of this thinking.  I used Lotus back in the 4.5/5.0 days (circa 1999-2001).  I then became an Exchange Administrator for the last 8 years (Exchange 5.5/2000/2003).</p>
<p>Enter Lotus 8.0+.  If you haven&#8217;t looked at it, really keep an open mind on the new version of Lotus.  Not only did they remake the entire user interface, but they have also implemented features that they should have had years ago, like &#8220;Message Recall&#8221;, &#8220;Single Object Storage&#8221; (IBM calls it DAOS), or storing the user&#8217;s contacts on the server, instead of just the local workstation.  Also, you can now store your contacts on the server, and have instantaneous out-0f-0ffice messages, rather than waiting the default 6 hours.</p>
<p>If you still feel like Lotus is still in the Stone Age, check out <a href="http://www.ibm.com/developerworks/lotus/library/notes85-new/">the new features of 8.5.</a></p>
<p>Some of my favorite features of Lotus vs Exchange/Outlook:</p>
<ul>
<li><strong>Scalability</strong> &#8211; It&#8217;s easier to scale in Lotus.  Clustering is super-easy.  You practically need a PhD in Windows systems to achieve good clustering, and maintaining it.</li>
<li><strong>Reliability</strong> &#8211; Exchange, everything is in a single database.  the larger the database, the more prone to corruption.  If the database is corrupted, email stops.  Period.  Lotus, everything has it&#8217;s own database, including mailboxes.  One database gets corrupted, only one mailbox is affected.</li>
<li><strong>Client Managability</strong> &#8211; The policies you can push out meet or exceed what Active Directory can do with Outlook. Whether it is archiving, client configurations, inbox size management, etc.</li>
<li><strong>Server Managability</strong> &#8211; Domino uses SNMP standard to manage from 3rd party packages.  Exchange uses WMI, which is a proprietary protocol, and usually requires proprietary systems to manage.  Analysis and Reporting (both scheduled and on-demand) are available in the Domino Admin client.</li>
<li><strong>Security</strong> &#8211; Lotus security is built-in, out of the box.  It uses x.509 certificates for authentication and encryption.  You have to enable that in Exchange, and is still a nightmare.</li>
<li><strong>Migration</strong> &#8211; ohhhh. this is a big one.  Everytime Microsoft releases a new version, there isn&#8217;t a way to do an in-place upgrade.  First, you have to upgrade Active Directory.  Then, install new servers, and plan a migration.  Domino, most of the time, you can just do an in-place upgrade.</li>
<li><strong>Platform</strong> &#8211; This is easy.  What platform do you think Exchange needs?  Domino/Lotus runs on AS400, Linux, Mac, and Windows.</li>
<li><strong>Licensing</strong> &#8211; No need to expand.  Anything to get out of the Microsoft Licensing nightmare.  One user license is all you need for Lotus.  You can install the server as much as you want, to support the user licenses.</li>
<li><strong>Chat</strong> &#8211; Built-in to Lotus, available if you want.</li>
</ul>
<p>I&#8217;m not going to go more into it.  There are alot of features that I like about the new version of Lotus, but the list can just go on and on.  Check it out for yourself.</p>
<p>For those that refuse to check it out, simply because of past experience, you are allowing your pride and stubborness to prevent you from really seeing the greatness of Lotus.</p>
<p>Do I think it is for everyone?  No, certainly not.  But I do want those that hate Lotus to give it a chance.  If you still hate it, no problem.  But, stop saying Lotus is the worse thing in the world, without giving the new version a chance.</p>
<p>Are there things that I still think they can enhance?  Absolutely.  Probably my biggest rant, is the caching of read/unread status.  Sharing multiple mailboxes is a huge headache because of this.</p>
<p><a href="http://teneo.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/notes8_screen.gif"><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-156" title="notes8_screen" src="http://teneo.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/notes8_screen.gif?w=300&#038;h=206" alt="notes8_screen" width="300" height="206" /></a></p>
<p>Cheers!</p>
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		<title>Becoming the swiss army knife in IT</title>
		<link>http://teneo.wordpress.com/2009/08/20/becoming-the-swiss-army-knife-in-it/</link>
		<comments>http://teneo.wordpress.com/2009/08/20/becoming-the-swiss-army-knife-in-it/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 20 Aug 2009 11:32:38 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Aaron Paxson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[General Blab]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://teneo.wordpress.com/?p=151</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I love my job.  I really do.  But, sometimes, I wish I was a little more honed in some areas.
My job description keeps changing.  Now, I&#8217;m the network administrator, server administrator, network engineer, messaging administrator, storage administrator, security officer, telecom manager&#8230;&#8230;
((sigh)) Sometimes, I wish I could just be the network engineer, going back to my [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=teneo.wordpress.com&blog=1886641&post=151&subd=teneo&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p>I love my job.  I really do.  But, sometimes, I wish I was a little more honed in some areas.</p>
<p>My job description keeps changing.  Now, I&#8217;m the network administrator, server administrator, network engineer, messaging administrator, storage administrator, security officer, telecom manager&#8230;&#8230;</p>
<p>((sigh)) Sometimes, I wish I could just be the network engineer, going back to my weekly antivirus and network reports, and making decisions to make the business communications more efficient and resilient.  Having my team act on my decisions, allowing me to focus on the larger picture makes things much easier.</p>
<p>Having so many hats is a good thing for marketing yourself to businesses, but prevents you from honing your skills in any one area.</p>
<p>For those, that are like me (which is increasingly getting higher with the current status of US Economy), <a href="http://freelanceswitch.com/general/tips-for-wearing-multiple-hats/">this page</a> will help you keep your hair, while you are juggling everything.  A good source for tips on wearing multiple hats.</p>
<p>Cheers!</p>
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		<title>Video series&#8230; Any takers?</title>
		<link>http://teneo.wordpress.com/2009/08/13/video-series-any-takers/</link>
		<comments>http://teneo.wordpress.com/2009/08/13/video-series-any-takers/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 13 Aug 2009 11:38:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Aaron Paxson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Business Technology]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://teneo.wordpress.com/2009/08/13/video-series-any-takers/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I have registered the name &#8220;Netration&#8221; at blip.tv in an effort to combine my two favorite interests, video and networking. 
This was supposed to be a vodcast for training, demos, and business technology news (focused on networking). A fun, playful series, where laughter, jokes, and informalities are present.  Very similar to the way the [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=teneo.wordpress.com&blog=1886641&post=147&subd=teneo&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p>I have registered the name &#8220;Netration&#8221; at blip.tv in an effort to combine my two favorite interests, video and networking. </p>
<p>This was supposed to be a vodcast for training, demos, and business technology news (focused on networking). A fun, playful series, where laughter, jokes, and informalities are present.  Very similar to the way the &#8220;Java Posse&#8221; handles themselves.  </p>
<p>However, in recent weeks, I realized it just wouldn&#8217;t be any fun to watch a single person. </p>
<p>I&#8217;m thinking of some co-hosts for this show. Maybe some &#8220;brief appearances&#8221; and if it takes off, then great. </p>
<p>Anyone willing to try out some video news and sharing?  You would need a video camera, mic, and abiliy to give me either a DV or QuickTime format.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m thinking recordings would be every two weeks, depending on how fast I become in post-production.  </p>
<p>I&#8217;m still not sure how this would work, but would love to try things.  I&#8217;m open to any suggestions or volunteers. </p>
<p>Let me know!<br />
Cheers!  </p>
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		<title>What to know about your IT Dept.</title>
		<link>http://teneo.wordpress.com/2009/08/06/what-to-know-about-your-it-dept/</link>
		<comments>http://teneo.wordpress.com/2009/08/06/what-to-know-about-your-it-dept/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 06 Aug 2009 22:10:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Aaron Paxson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[General Blab]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[department]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[it]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://teneo.wordpress.com/?p=140</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[An oldie, but a goodie&#8230;&#8230;
When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it
buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals,
dried flowers, bowling trophies and children&#8217;s art. We don&#8217;t have a
life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of
yours.
Don&#8217;t write anything down. Ever. We [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=teneo.wordpress.com&blog=1886641&post=140&subd=teneo&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p>An oldie, but a goodie&#8230;&#8230;</p>
<p>When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it<br />
buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals,<br />
dried flowers, bowling trophies and children&#8217;s art. We don&#8217;t have a<br />
life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of<br />
yours.</p>
<p>Don&#8217;t write anything down. Ever. We can play back the error messages<br />
from our video recording.</p>
<p>When an IT person says s/he&#8217;s coming right over, go for coffee. That<br />
way you won&#8217;t be there when we need your password. It&#8217;s nothing for us<br />
to remember 300 login passwords.</p>
<p>When IT Support sends you an e-mail with high importance, delete it at<br />
once. We&#8217;re just testing.</p>
<p>When an IT person is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and<br />
spill your problems right out. We don&#8217;t even like eating food, we exist only to serve.</p>
<p>Send urgent e-mail all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and<br />
flags it as a rush delivery.</p>
<p>When we do something as a favor in our own time at our own expense,<br />
feel free to criticize us.</p>
<p>That&#8217;s OK, we don&#8217;t expect you to lift anything or get under your desk.<br />
Manual labour was part of our IT degree.</p>
<p>When the photocopier doesn&#8217;t work, call Computer Support. There&#8217;s<br />
electronics in it.</p>
<p>When you&#8217;re getting a NO DIAL TONE message at home, call Computer<br />
Support. We can fix your telephone line from here.</p>
<p>When something&#8217;s wrong with your home PC, dump it on an IT person&#8217;s<br />
chair with no name, no phone number and no description of the problem.<br />
We love a challenge.</p>
<p>When an IT person tells you that computer screens don&#8217;t have cartridges<br />
in them, argue. We love a good argument.</p>
<p>When an IT person tells you that he&#8217;ll be there shortly, reply in<br />
scathing tone of voice: &#8220;And just how many weeks do you mean by<br />
shortly?&#8221; That motivates us.</p>
<p>When the printer won&#8217;t print, re-send the job at least 20 times. Print<br />
jobs frequently get sucked into black holes. When the printer still<br />
won&#8217;t print after 20 tries, send the job to all 68 printers in the<br />
company. One of them is bound to work.</p>
<p>Don&#8217;t learn the proper name for anything technical. We know exactly<br />
what is meant by &#8220;my thingy blew up&#8221;.</p>
<p>When you call someone in to fix a problem &#8211; but don&#8217;t tell them about<br />
the other 10 problems until they physically arrive. That&#8217;s OK &#8211; we can<br />
clear our schedule for the rest of the day.</p>
<p>Don&#8217;t use on-line help. On-line help is for wimps.<br />
When your application can&#8217;t do what you want&#8230; blame us, we write<br />
all the software that runs on your PC and can customise it on the fly. Bill<br />
Gates lets us do this.</p>
<p>Remember the IT guy doesn&#8217;t need to think &#8211; he has seen every problem<br />
before.</p>
<p>If the mouse cable keeps knocking down the framed picture of your dog,<br />
lift the computer and stuff the cable under it. Mouse cables were<br />
designed to have 20 kg of computer sitting on top of them.</p>
<p>If the space bar on your keyboard doesn&#8217;t work, blame it on the<br />
mail/software/network upgrade. Keyboards are actually very happy with<br />
half a pound of muffin crumbs and nail clippings in them.</p>
<p>When you find an IT person on the phone, sit uninvited on the corner of<br />
their desk and stare at them until they hang up.</p>
<p>Feel perfectly free to say things like &#8220;I don&#8217;t know nothing about that<br />
computer crap.&#8221; We don&#8217;t mind at all hearing our area of professional<br />
expertise referred to as crap.</p>
<p>When you need to change the toner cartridge in a printer, call IT<br />
Support. Changing a toner cartridge is an extremely complex task, and<br />
Hewlett-Packard recommends that it be performed only by a professional<br />
engineer with a Master&#8217;s degree in nuclear physics.</p>
<p>When you think the network/e-mail/office application is going slow,<br />
call us as we have a button to press that makes it go back to it&#8217;s<br />
normal speed.</p>
<p>When something&#8217;s the matter with your computer, ask your secretary to<br />
call the help desk. We enjoy the challenge of having to deal with a<br />
third party who doesn&#8217;t know about the problem.</p>
<p>The instant you call us (on our mobile) &#8211; we can see what&#8217;s happening<br />
on your screen and can solve it instantaneously.</p>
<p>Be aware that IT people don&#8217;t need to use the toilet. So you have a<br />
right to be upset if we don&#8217;t answer the phone.</p>
<p>When you call asking &#8220;is there something wrong with the network&#8221;, we instantly know what is wrong with the hundreds of devices that make it work, and the hundreds more applications that it runs.</p>
<p>When you receive a 30MB movie file, send it to everyone as a mail<br />
attachment. We&#8217;ve got lots of disk space on that mail server.</p>
<p>When an IT person gets in the lift pushing $100,000 worth of computer<br />
equipment on a trolley, ask in a very loud voice, &#8220;Good grief, you take<br />
the lift to go DOWN one floor?&#8221;</p>
<p>And finally, always remember&#8230;. we were sitting there waiting for your<br />
call.. The whole day!!!</p>
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